November 9, 2018 The latest Scum patch fixes a number of penis bugs.
Scum penises have gotten nerfed in the latest patch, all under the guise of a patching flaws. Today’s patch notes include a “bug fix where penis would get bigger with each login.” That sounds more like a removed feature than a bug fix to me, but I guess ‘your dick gets bigger every time you play Scum’ would be a little on the nose as a marketing ploy. That’s not the only penis-related fix in this patch. Developer Gamepires also notes that it “fixed a bug where urinating would lock hands and penis if interrupted,” and “fixed a bug where it was possible to increase penis size without it affecting other attributes.” So no, you can no longer pump your penis up without consequence. Today’s patch notes also include some substantial changes for Scum players, including bigger arrow stacks, increased sodium loss from urination, and faster firing animation for M9s and Desert Eagles. But even publisher Devolver Digital knows where the real money is in their congratulatory message on Twitter. Scum’s simulation of human anatomy is such that it would be weirder if it didn’t model genitalia, but we’re going to continue laughing about the game’s penises as long as developer Gamepires gives us reason to.